WELCOME

We are excited to announce that ISTA’s Accountability Process Hybrid Model has been successfully operating for seven months since we transitioned from the “beta version” to this new Hybrid model. We’re calling our current Accountability Process the Hybrid Model because it involves a number of 3rd party professional consultants working in collaboration with ISTA’s Accountability Stream (faculty members dedicated to ISTA’s internal accountability work). One of our 3rd party professional consultants, Kamela Love, is a professional facilitator of restorative justice circles and community conflict resolution work, and has been “holding point” as a project manager for our global accountability initiatives since February 2024. We maintain the mission of this Accountability Process is a transformative healing approach that reflects our commitment to creating a culture of consent, feedback, and growth.

Please read the original announcement published in July 2023: Accountability Process Statement announcement

Below you will find the most recent bi-seasonal update, where we share our new developments from the past two seasons under the drop down menu, “New Developments”. You will also find that we add new content concurrently with each bi-seasonal update at the top under each of the following drop down menus: “Progress & Achievements”, “Challenges & Obstacles”, “Feedback & Suggestions”, and “Next Steps.”

Accountability Process Basic Terms:

Currently, we have three faculty members involved as “Accountability Candidates.” These are ISTA faculty and organizers who have paused their roles at ISTA in order to engage in a structured process of self reflection, learning, ownership, and amends related to their impact on the community. This process may run anywhere between 6 months to 3 years, with no guarantees of successful completion and return to work with ISTA.
We have matched each Candidate with a “support team” (formerly called a “support triad”) which is a team of at least three vetted and qualified people (a blend of volunteers and professionals) who meet regularly to offer reflections to the Candidate.
The “Accountability Stream" is a select group of faculty that works in consultation with the ISTA Council, Transform Into Love (Kamela Love), Safe Mediation, Evolve Men (Mischa Byruck), and other third-party consultants who work together to develop processes and to make decisions. In addition to overseeing Candidates’ progress, the Accountability Stream works closely with ISTA’s Feedback Stream, fielding feedback from the wider sacred sexuality community, and with ISTA’s Continuing Education Stream, creating ongoing education to build a “Culture of Accountability.”

We acknowledge that there are limitations inherent to implementing and operating a new process. Our mostly volunteer crew is dedicated, but not infallible. The procedures described are still undergoing experimentation, evaluation, and refinement.

We welcome feedback as a gift, and we are actively seeking input from within the ISTA Core, as well as third-party consultants. Community involvement, experience, and suggestions have played a crucial role in shaping this process. Although we may not be able to integrate all the feedback at once, we are willing to take note and share our growth. Please send your suggestions via our Feedback Form and it will be considered for the next iteration.

Thank you
ISTA Accountability Team
(Accountability Stream and Consultants)
Crystal Dawn Morris, Laurie Handlers, Penny Goldsmuntz, Kamela Love, Anaisa Seneda, Denyse Ford & Mischa Byruck

With great power comes great responsibility.
Voltaire

New Developments: Fall Equinox 2024

The Accountability Team is delighted to share some key new developments in ISTA’s Accountability Process that have emerged since our last bi-seasonal update (which you will find in an expandable section below on this webpage where we archive each of our past updates so our readers can track our process and our progress).

We continue to fine-tune the Accountability Process Hybrid Model: During the past year and a half that we have spent developing the “Beta” model, we have come to understand the importance of having third-party experts intimately involved in ISTA 's Accountability Process. They have been invaluable in sharing professional skills in various conflict resolution methods and community accountability work as well as helping ISTA recognize systemic blind spots that may be operating within ISTA. The new “Hybrid Model” emphasizes a blend of external consultants with internal participation from within ISTA’s Core community. The Point Person, Kamela Love, and the rest of the Accountability Stream (Crystal Dawn Morris, Laurie Handlers, and Penny Goldmuntz) are busy experimenting and implementing new ideas with a commitment to ongoing improvement.
In February 2024, ISTA invited Anaisa and Denyse from Safe Mediation and Kamela from Transform Into Love to take a more active role in providing suggestions and feedback for improving the Accountability Process model. We are still fleshing out the specifics of this new hybrid framework. We encourage you to read the list of new initiatives within the Accountability Process Hybrid Model which were published in our recent spring Equinox update (see the archived Spring Equinox 2024 update lower in the drop down options on this web page).
Developing criteria for reintegrating a Candidate back into a leadership role within ISTA: The Accountability Team put a lot of thought and care into creating a draft model of criteria for considering if and when to reintegrate a Candidate back into a leadership role within ISTA after the bulk of a Candidate’s accountability transformational work has been complete. This draft model is currently being circulated through ISTA leadership for feedback and was discussed in greater detail at ISTA’s recent Core gathering. The model provides criteria for assessing if and when it’s appropriate for a Candidate to return to a leadership role in ISTA, after that person demonstrates growth, humility, consistent trauma-informed behavior, consistent openness to feedback without defensiveness or deflection, genuine understanding of and commitment to hold relationships involving power differentials with integrity, commitment to repair harm when a report of harm is voiced, and much much more.
Once a determination is made that a Candidate has done effective growth work and has changed patterns of behavior that were the ones likely to cause harm, the model introduces a supported facilitation period in which the Candidate receives additional support and additional feedback as they incrementally come back into a facilitator or organizer or apprentice role. We are taking careful steps to ensure a reintegrating Candidate is operating in a way that comes from genuine empathy and care for the people they interact with in a professional setting and minimizes opportunities for causing harm. Over time, we expect a marked decrease in instances of reported harm because, in addition to supporting accountability work for specific facilitators who have received reports of harm, ISTA is also shifting policies and structures inside training curriculum to make a more trauma-informed learning environment and to create a body of facilitators who operate in “right relationship with power.”
Shadow Dancing: a 4-part series of educational classes delivered to ISTA’s Core on topics related to community accountability: ISTA’s Accountability Stream collaborated with the Continuing Education Stream to produce a series of 4 educational classes delivered by Mischa Byruck (founder of Evolve Men) to ISTA’s Core on topics related to community accountability and conflict resolution. Mischa’s classes were really well received by those members of Core who attended as well as those who watched the recording. The four topics were (1) Ownership of Harm, (2) Power Differentials, (3) Community Accountability Processes and Conflict Resolution Strategies, and (4) Thorough Restoration and Repair. Those in the Core community who attended the classes reported immense value and are encouraging others in Core to watch the replays. This class series signifies a step towards creating a “Culture of Accountability” through educating the leaders in accountability skills and best practices.
Data analysis on Incident Reports submitted. We compiled data from all online feedback channels and community surveys. This includes both the Feedback Form and the Incident Report Form on ISTA’s website, the Assisted Feedback Portal on Safe Mediation’s website, and the surveys collected by Safer Sacred Sex Positive Communities (3SC). We compiled the data by type of complaint, such as “consent related,” “sexual activity / boundary related,” “substance use related,” “facilitation style,” “misuse of power,” and more. We also compiled the data by the name of the “recipient” of the complaint so we can see how many complaints have been received to date through all four channels per facilitator, per organizer, and per apprentice. Add organizer - they can also receive complaints.
Recorded an ISTA podcast episode on recommended ways for leaders to lead with accountability: Usha interviewed Kamela Love, ISTA’s Accountability Process Point Person, on The Spiritual Sexual Shamanic Podcast and they had a riveting discussion surrounding best practices for leaders, especially spiritual leaders, to practice “proactive accountability”. This means the kind of accountability work that takes steps to minimize harm before it occurs and creates structures to hold leaders to account ongoingly. The podcast episode includes many practical tips for leaders to practice the right use of power and to build greater awareness of how power differentials are often a significant factor in the misuse of power and thereby in the need for accountability to provide healing where harm occurred through the often unaware misuse of power. The episode will be released sometime this fall.
NY Magazine Interview on ISTA’s Accountability Process: Kamela Love, Point Person of ISTA’s Accountability Process, was interviewed by a NY Magazine reporter who is writing a full length article on ISTA’s Accountability Process. The article’s angle is what authentic accountability and restorative justice look like within the context of a sex-positive spiritual community and why ISTA has chosen repair instead of canceling. ISTA Lead Facilitators, Raffaello Manacorda and KamalaDevi McClure, were also interviewed for the article, as well as Anaisa from Safe Mediation.
Kamela and the Accountability Stream facilitated workshops at Core gathering in September. Kamela collaborated with Crystal Dawn, Laurie Handlers, and Penny Goldmuntz to present engaging somatic exercises to support Core in a deeper understanding of the connection between misuse of power and being “called in” to an accountability process… and ultimately how power differentials often create opportunities for the misuse of power which operate in our blind spots. The team presented information on how the accountability process operates, new areas under development, and challenges currently faced. Current candidates got to share profound stories about their areas of growth since being in the accountability process. The Core body engaged in deep discussions grappling with the best ways to uplevel the whole organism’s level of trauma informedness, ways of relating to power, and ability to receive feedback non-defensively and gratefully.
Creating Accountability Upleveling Kit. We are creating an Accountability Upleveling Kit containing recommendations for all Core members (meaning all facilitators, organizers, and apprentices) to complete in the upcoming months as a form of self growth and further education on accountability related topics such as the responsible use of power, deepening understanding of trauma responses, creating trauma-informed learning environments, and receiving feedback and complaints non-defensively.

If you are interested in details of what we have accomplished and learned in the Accountability Process in the past two seasons (i.e. 6 months) since our most recent update on this web page, please continue reading each of the expandable menus below. All past seasonal updates have been archived toward the bottom of this page.

If you have feedback regarding ISTA’s Accountability Process, please submit it on our Feedback Page

The 5-step accountability process

STEP 1: Support

An Accountability Support Triad is formed to offer a group gaze, and peer feedback and to co-create a plan for deep growth and accountability. Depending on the role held by the accountability candidate and the severity of the grievances, recommendations are made for whether this process requires external accountability and how long the monthly meetings will run.

STEP 2: Understanding

What is the scope of the conflict? Are there specific grievance(s)? Offering empathetic listening to all sides of the issue to assess how specific boundaries, agreements, or expectations may have been broken and/or misunderstood. Is this a broader pattern of behavior?

STEP 3: Ownership

During this phase, the accountability candidate, with the support of their Support Triad, does the work of owning their feelings, needs, behaviors, and the impact they had on the feelings and needs of the person with the grievance. They self-reflect on how they contributed to the situation. Through curiosity and shadow-work they are invited to own mistakes, misunderstandings, and/or moments of poor judgment. This process may involve outside resources, i.e. therapists, mediators, and/or additional trainings/courses.

STEP 4: Amends

Amends: Reparation may involve a community process, public statements, letters of apology, difficult conversations, multiple rounds of mediation where necessary, or anything else that may be appropriate for rehabilitation.

STEP 5: Resolution

The Accountability Team will review the efforts of the candidate. If they all agree that the individual has transformed, deep accountability has been taken, repair has been made, lessons have been learned, and precautions have been taken to change future behavior and future outcomes, then they will submit a recommendation to the council. Together they will decide whether the candidate may enter a probationary period where they will be supervised in training before resuming their role with ISTA.

Alternatively, the candidate may vibrate out of the ISTA field, either by choosing to take intentional space or by ISTA inviting conscious closure. This closure may be necessary because the individual is unwilling or unable to integrate the Accountability Process, or because the individual no longer resonates with ISTA’s values, practices, and/or procedures.

Our 5-step Accountability Process is not about checking off boxes on a sequential list. Restoring safety and trust cannot be objectively measured. We are working with deep energetics felt within the root, gut, and nervous system. This process requires sensitivity, surrender, and a willingness to listen and repair intangible bonds within the wider ecosystem. Many times feedback is non-verbal, emotional, or indescribable. It may also require the death of identity and may stretch us out of our comfort zone. Transformation takes time, and the graduation/completion of this process is not guaranteed, but we will work together to see what we cannot see alone so that we can better serve the community in the long run.

There is also an accountability manual that outlines additional guidance and recommendations for each step of the journey. These are living documents that reflect ISTA’s evolving best practices and will be periodically reviewed and updated with feedback from the field, including by those undergoing this process.

While it’s useful to create a 5-step model, we want to make it clear that these steps are not linear; rather, they unfold in a spiral nature.

Assessment Forms

10-QUESTION INTAKE (Form A)

The Support Triad must consult with the Accountability Team and meet with the Accountability Candidate to fill out the following form, in order for the Accountability process to officially begin.

What is the candidate’s role within ISTA? An apprentice, organizer, facilitator, lead, council member, and/or founder? And who else in ISTA leadership may have contributed to this situation or may be relevant to include in this process (mentors, co-facilitators, etc.)?
What might ISTA’s responsibility be in this situation? How might the culture of ISTA have contributed to this situation?
Please name those involved and how were they impacted. How involved do they wish to be in the Accountability Process? ISTA is committed to hearing individuals who have grievances, supporting their boundaries, and giving them space for feeling and healing, who will be the contact or point person for communication?
Outline the scope of the behavior or patterns that need attention. Are there any specific complaints that need attention? Is it a first offense, or repeated? Summarize briefly what happened in each incident.
What obstacles may interfere with this process? Take inventory of life circumstances, trauma history, emotional resistance, ego tricks that may sabotage their transformation, identity attachments, privilege, race, financial motivation, core wounding, current or past relationships, current events, etc.
Is some form of a public statement recommended? Include recommendations on how to balance the confidentiality with privacy of all involved & the potential benefit of transparency with the wider community. Who will be notified that this process is beginning, and how will updates be posted?
What are the initial suggested resources & recommendations, such as trauma-informed courses, therapists, coaches, books, podcasts, and/or trainings?
Create a Meeting schedule: Please plan a series of pre-scheduled meetings with the support team. This requires that you coordinate calendars to pre-arrange monthly Zoom meetings for a minimum of 3 months. (Recommended: once per month for 3 months to 2 years. With seasonal updates.) Also, make note of future travel and/or availability for additional check-ins and other communication platforms. Although it may be hard to predict how long this process run, what are your initial recommendations?
What work has the accountability candidate already done towards resolution previous to beginning this process. (I.e. clearing, mediation, apology, pause, etc.)? Please be specific about all relevant processes.
What is the intended outcome of this process? Please include a series of milestones. If a recommendation was made to “pause” immediately above, then what is necessary for them to be invited back into their role(s) with ISTA (as they vibrate back in slowly with group gaze)?

SELF ASSESSMENT (FORM B)

Before beginning the ISTA Accountability process, Please ask yourself the following questions:

What do you hope to achieve from ISTA’s Accountability Process? From your perspective, what are the instances, complaints, struggles, and issues that you would like support in reflecting on?
Are there individuals in the ISTA field who you don’t feel have your best interest in mind and who you would like not to be on your support triad?
What concerns do you have about ISTA’s Accountability Process?
Do you have someone in life who you would like as a confidant to be your emotional support in this process, someone who might be willing to show up and witness your feedback with a “listen and learn” attitude?
What else would you need to feel safety, trust, and empowered to go on this journey?
What if you go through the process and don’t get the transformation you expect?

Self

What are your strengths, gifts, and superpowers?
What are your weaknesses and limitations?
Now let’s look deeper at any complaints or feedback you’ve gotten that suggests you should go through the Accountability Process:
What intention did you have behind your behaviors?
What meaning did you make, stories you are telling yourself?
What are your feelings/emotions about these issues?
What unmet needs may be motivating your feelings?
Do you have any requests regarding these issues?

Other

Put yourself in the shoes of whoever is giving you the feedback or complaint(s) what do you see from their perspective?
What are their feelings?
What are their unmet needs?
How have you impacted them
Are there power/dynamics and other shadow considerations between you and those involved?
Can you see your part in how you contributed to this situation?
What do you feel responsible for?

Container

How did the container, space, or context affect your behavior?
How have your actions impacted the container?
What feedback do you have for ISTA?

GO DEEPER

Are there events relationships or situations outside of ISTA where something like this has come up?
Where else in your life have you seen these patterns?
Do a rigorous inventory.
When you consider your childhood traumas, what does this remind you of?
How might your behavior now be informed by patterns in your family of origin?

REPAIR

What have you learned?
What are you willing to own?
What are the consequences of your behavior?
What could you have done to avoid this?
How would you handle this situation differently?
How will you change your behavior in the future?

The Role of Safe Mediation and Third-Party Consultants

ISTA recognizes there is an inherent differential in power and privilege between each role within the organization, and we aim to remain sensitive to how these dynamics may make it difficult to voice a grievance or resolve a dispute. We understand that the need for belonging and community runs deep. Speaking up may be subconsciously equated with the fear of ex-communication. For this reason, we are working in consultation with external mediators to facilitate the voicing of feedback and grievances.

If a participant does not feel they can come to ISTA directly, we encourage them to contact Safe Mediation, an independent neutral party that oversees the feedback portal and facilitates mediation and clearing conversations between ISTA and participants.

Safe Mediation can be contacted by email (info@safe-mediation.com) or via their anonymous feedback portal form to initiate a resolution process (https://www.safe-mediation.com/ISTA)

Safe Mediation is not responsible for implementing or managing ISTA's internal Accountability Process. ISTA has contracted with Safe Mediation as well as other 3rd party consultants such as Mischa Byruck, & Lars Borgmann to advise in the development of the Process as well as participate in support triads.

Third-party input is essential for several key reasons. First, these consultants offer specialized expertise and knowledge in accountability practices, such as restorative justice, ownership, and amends. They each bring valuable insights and tools from a wider context in order to upgrade and strengthen ISTA Culture. External consultants play a pivotal role in educating faculty and driving cultural change.

Further, their external perspective ensures impartiality and objectivity, making their recommendations and assessments more trustworthy. External consultants are not influenced by internal politics or biases, increasing the credibility of the process. They also ensure confidentiality, which is especially important in sensitive situations.

External consultants bring fresh perspectives, specialized expertise, and objectivity, while internal participation provides an in-depth understanding of the organization's culture. The synergy between external and internal consultants creates a dynamic partnership that fosters a more comprehensive system, helps lighten the financial burden, and benefits our long-term evolution.

Who's in the Accountability Process?

ACCOUNTABILITY TEAM:

Announcing we hired Kamela Love, from Transform Into Love, in February 2024 to fill the role of Point Person for the Accountability Process. Kamela essentially replaces KamalaDevi in the role they held for the past year and a half. Our Accountability Team is now comprised of Kamela Love, Laurie Handlers, Crystal Dawn Morris, and Penny Goldsmuntz.

We offer heartfelt gratitude to KamalaDevi McClure for their dedicated service in the last 10 months of co-founding this process. Here is a link to their public statement regarding their personal reasons for stepping down from ISTA’s accountability team, (but not from ISTA): Transitioning off of the Accountability Team

Current Candidates:

Ohad Pele Ezrahi

Buddhi Dana

SUPPORT TEAM: Briana Cribeyer, Robbie Griffin & Shirly Meiner Lanczmann
PUBLIC STATEMENT: Buddhi's Public Statement
Buddhi Dana has put tremendous effort into accountability work with Safe Mediation in an accountability process that could be considered in addition to and parallel to ISTA’s Accountability Process. His accountability journey is detailed on Safe Mediation’s website and can be found here: https://www.safe-mediation.com/buddhi-dana/

Eugene Hedlund

SUPPORT TEAM: Caitlyn Cook, Nimai SunRa Lev Shalem & Blake Zealear
PUBLIC STATEMENT: Eugene's Public Statement

Progress & Achievements

In the face of such challenging and confronting work, it’s essential to celebrate our wins. This list is a reminder that our efforts are making a difference, instilling a sense of accomplishment, and reinforcing our commitment to the cause.

Autumn Equinox 2024

Draft model for Candidate Reintegration is circulating for feedback: The Accountability Team put a lot of thought and care into creating a draft model of criteria for reintegrating a Candidate back into a leadership role within ISTA after the bulk of a Candidate’s accountability transformational work has been complete. This draft model is currently being circulated through ISTA leadership for feedback and was discussed in greater detail at ISTA’s recent Core gathering. The model provides criteria for assessing if and when it’s appropriate for a Candidate to return to a leadership role in ISTA, after that person demonstrates growth, humility, consistent trauma informed behavior, consistent openness to feedback without defensiveness or deflection, genuine care for the wellbeing of the participants in their training, commitment to repair harm when a report of harm is voiced, and much much more.
Once a determination is made that a Candidate has done effective growth work and has changed patterns of behavior that were likely to cause harm, the model introduces a supported facilitation period in which the Candidate receives additional support and additional feedback as they incrementally come back into a facilitator or organizer or apprentice role. We are taking careful steps to ensure a reintegrating Candidate is accountable for the impact of their actions and consciously minimizes opportunities for causing harm.
Creating Basic Mediation & Accountability Skills Training for Core members: ISTA hired Kamela from Transform Into Love and Anaisa and Denyse from Safe Mediation to custom tailor an online training to skill build in conflict resolution from the heart and community accountability best practices. The training will include live classes online and educational videos. The vision is that ISTA will have its own team of mediators to more skillfully support resolution of challenges that arise among members of Core.

Spring Equinox 2024

Constructive Mediation with Safer Sex-Positive Spiritual Communities (3SC): ISTA completed an extensive 18-month mediation process with the support of a third-party mediator, Alexis Dixon. The members of the ISTA committee, Raffaello Manacorda, Rich Priddis, Crystal Dawn Morris, and KamalaDevi Mcclure were dedicated to listening and learning about community accountability and repair from 3SC's team– Lalita Diaz, Dave Booda & Cara Cordoni. ISTA is grateful for the immense effort, wisdom, and care that went into this process. The two parties came together to write a joint statement which is available here: https://ista.life/announcements/ista-3sc-statement
Repair, Reconciliation and Restructuring: ISTA’s 18-month Evolution: Two years ago, ISTA embarked on a significant journey in response to criticism and feedback from community members. It has undergone a radical re-structure and systems upgrade in many areas such as its governance, sexual protocols, and accountability. In a special offering of the online summit, ‘A Cry From the Future’, ISTA faculty members, Raffaello Manacorda and KamalaDevi McClure, share their experiences and wisdom around ISTA’s journey of restructuring in an interview with John Wolfstone (we note that the majority of this talk focuses on ISTA’s restructuring and that the repair and reconciliation processes are in their beginning stages). https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/live/MB0mRvIynUw?si=u6JjGQi8jeAlvN7E
Forming a Panel of Allies: We are in conversation with leaders in other sex-positive spaces to create an advisory panel comprising diverse community members, including external experts in similar areas. This panel could provide guidance, brainstorming, and oversight to ensure the accountability process aligns with best practices in the field and supports continual evolution.
Professional Accountability Coaching: Mischa Byruck, from Evolve.men, is working one on one with each of the Candidates on their public statements and supporting them to more deeply integrate and live from the values inherent in community accountability work.
Public Statements from Candidates. A public statement made by an accountability Candidate is a huge milestone in the journey and it typically involves the Candidate publicly addressing the themes/reasons that brought them into an accountability process, the inner growth and insights gained during the process, and a request for additional feedback for ongoing growth and service to the community. These statements are shared publicly on ISTA’s website and may be additionally posted on Safe Mediation’s website and/or on the Candidate’s professional website to provide transparency in their ownership and amends to the community. Both Ohad and Buddhi recently published their public statements (links below). Eugene recently wrote his public statement and it’s currently under review before publicly publishing. Keep an eye on the link below where Eugene’s public statement will be posted soon.
- Ohad Ezrahi’s public statement
- Buddhi Dana’s public statement
  Buddhi Dana has put tremendous effort into accountability work with Safe Mediation in an accountability process that could be considered in addition to and parallel to ISTA’s Accountability Process. His accountability journey is detailed on Safe Mediation’s website and can be found here: https://www.safe-mediation.com/buddhi-dana/
- Eugene Hedlund’s public statement
Handling Complaints for External Events. ISTA has established a proactive policy acknowledging the potential impact of facilitators' external non-ISTA events on participants, reputation, and service. This includes reserving the right to temporarily pause Core members from working with ISTA until external conflicts are resolved. While ISTA can recommend a pause in external work, the organization respects the autonomy of facilitators in this regard and cannot enforce a pause in their external work. The Accountability Process focuses specifically on conflicts and complaints occurring within ISTA containers, indicating a clear delineation of scope.
ISTA’s Accountability Town Hall Meeting: On March 26th, ISTA Core Members will hold (or held, depending on when you’re reading this) a pivotal meeting addressing ISTA’s process with conflict resolution, transcending the Drama Triangle, and community accountability for ISTA Core Members. The gathering marks a significant milestone because of ISTA Accountability Process’ graduation from the original “beta” model into a new “hybrid” model, incorporating more professional experts and encouraging increased community involvement. The meeting aimed to introduce key players and to share the vision for the future. It involved the welcome of Kamela Love as the new Point Person for ISTA’s Accountability Process and the introduction of Mischa as the new third-party Accountability Coach for the Candidates. The online Town Hall meeting emphasized the importance of community involvement in consulting with ISTA during this developmental phase and offered an opportunity for continuing education, with ISTA providing training for facilitators interested in mediation skills and community accountability tools to support the sustainability of the Hybrid Accountability Process.

Fall Equinox and Winter Solstice 2023

Summer Solstice 2023

SUPPORT TRIADS: We have selected a qualified team to support each candidate with monthly Zoom meetings, each candidate has been exhibiting earnest self-reflection, insight, and humility as they worked through the self-assessment and the 10 questions. (Form A & B posted above. For details on how support triads are selected, see FAQ, below.)
Deep Shadow Work with Support Triads: Three courageous candidates are actively engaged in deep shadow work, demonstrating their commitment to personal growth and accountability through our support triads.
All three candidates have completed a trauma-informed training for tantra professionals https://www.livetantra.com/trauma-informed-training.html and are actively engaged in studying the dynamics of power and privilege.
We’ve agreed on a required text for everyone involved in the accountability process this season, “The Right Use of Power” by Cedar Barstow. It explores the different kinds of power dynamics from personal to professional and teaches ethical decision-making in using power for positive change and transformation.
We’ve increased transparency with this live webpage and seasonal updates. This is a bold step that offers a dynamic platform to share our progress and developments with the community at large.
Accountability Manual: We have diligently compiled our accountability process into a comprehensive 15-page manual. This manual includes assessment forms, offering clear guidelines and tools for accountability within our organization.
Enhanced Feedback System: We have implemented a refined feedback system that separates appreciation, suggestions, and complaints, enabling us to categorize and address various types of feedback effectively. This improvement promotes transparency and responsiveness.
Leadership Transition and Succession Planning: During the final month after announcing the resignation of a key leader, we undertook a rigorous process that included interviewing multiple candidates as potential replacements, engaging external consultants for insights, and creating a detailed project plan and a forward-looking vision for our organization's future. We also have a comprehensive Accountability Team Procedural Overview and explainer videos for those involved.
We’ve updated the ISTA website to reflect that the accountability candidates are on pause from their role as facilitators or organizers. We’ve also requested that accountability candidates update their social media sites.
We’ve implemented procedure changes: Objective outside agencies and support triads may make recommendations about the Candidate's readiness to come back to work, however, they are not responsible for the final decision, ultimately there must be a consensus between the accountability team and the Council.
Positive Cultural Shift: There has been a noticeable shift in the quality of feedback and quantity of incident reports that we have received since we implemented the accountability and continuous in-house education programs.

Challenges & Obstacles

Since we ask for the vulnerability of everyone involved, we want to role model it by openly discussing the hurdles we face in this process. We also hope this inspires others who are in similar processes. This list allows us to collectively problem-solve and grow, showing that we are all on this journey together, committed to continuous improvement.

Autumn Equinox 2024

Determining who has decision-making authority for different elements of the Accountability Process. One of the challenges of building an entirely new model and process is that we don’t have any pre-existing pathways for how we will build it, who will be involved, and who has decision-making power for which parts of the process. We have been discussing this topic for months and we are considering various options. During our Core gathering in September 2024, just prior to the release of this bi-seasonal update, we had the opportunity to discuss pros and cons of different governance models with an eye on creating systems that are in alignment with ISTA’s core values and that augment creating a Culture of Accountability.
Challenges surrounding gossip and rumors, especially when spread through social media. One of our biggest ongoing obstacles entails the spread of gossip and rumors, especially through social media channels. While we acknowledge that humans seem to have a tendency to gossip, we are keenly aware of how challenging it is to create an acceptance of accurate information and dissuade the spread of misinformation through the many communities that are impacted by ISTA.
Effectively updating the global public. Another one of our biggest ongoing obstacles entails the challenges inherent in effectively updating “the global public” about the real measurable growth and developments that are emerging both on an individual level with each of the Accountability Candidates and also on an organizational level affecting the entire ISTA organism. We acknowledge that the act of publishing bi-seasonal updates on this webpage dedicated to ISTA’s Accountability Process is simply insufficient to effectively update the global public in a way that enables growth in the public’s understanding of what ISTA is actually doing to uplevel many different parts of the organism.

Spring Equinox 2024

Agreeing on Scope: The transition from a “beta” test to a “hybrid” model has involved significant discussions and disagreements amongst internal teams. Key points of contention revolve around defining the scope, power, and boundaries of various teams within the accountability framework. As KamalaDevi transitioned off the team, they’ve been actively involved in training Kamela in a longer-term vision to change ISTA culture through education and engagement of Core members, but since Kamela is an external consultant, the roles and responsibilities are different. We are in the midst of discussions about the scope of the Accountability Team , Accountability Stream, Support Team (formerly support triad), Accountability Juice Group, Beta vs. Hybrid Model, and the Accountability Process Point Person's Role, as well as whom they report too. Further, we are discussing how to support the creation of conscious accountability work “all the way up and all the way down” within ISTA, meaning we are bringing heightened awareness to how power dynamics move within ISTA. Further, ISTA is aware of the importance of creating a culture of accountability that increases awareness of how power dynamics move both within the organization and how power dynamics within ISTA interface with the public.
Clear criteria for completion of an accountability process: It has been challenging to determine clear and measurable criteria for bringing a formal accountability process to completion and declaring the Candidate ready for next steps in returning to their role in ISTA. We have, however, been able to agree on one key piece to this puzzle - once begun, the accountability work is never over. Meaning, in a Candidate’s accountability process, they go through a rigorous process of self growth that includes learning how to deeply humble oneself and receive feedback from people with grievances without getting defensive, without making excuses, without any “yeah but’s”. During this transformational process, the Candidates naturally come to understand that their accountability work is never actually over; they forever remain open to feedback and open to listening deeply to the impact of their actions on others. As we continue to discuss the criteria for completion of the formal accountability process and for the possibility of a Candidate returning to their role in ISTA, we can say that, even after the formal process concludes, a Candidate remains open for feedback and continues to have channels open to receive feedback from participants of their events and from private clients.
Budget constraints: Due to the demanding nature of this work and ongoing financial commitments to professional experts, the Accountability Team and Council must delicately balance time, money, and energy matters. Prioritization and strategic decision-making are crucial to addressing the most pressing needs within limited resources.
Patience: The Accountability Team acknowledges the gradual pace of global cultural change, recognizing it as a long-term endeavor. The inherent difficulty arises from the decentralized system in place, adding complexity to the process. The team understands the challenges posed by the distributed nature of the system, emphasizing the persistence required for effecting change.
Scheduling Challenges: The Accountability Team faces ongoing difficulties finding regular times to gather due to the team's frequent travel commitments, commitments to other projects, and global Time Zone differences.
Managing expectations: Balancing the needs of accountability Candidates who feel they have completed their growth journey when the Accountability Team perceives additional work is needed has posed a challenge. To address this, we’re working to establish specific and measurable criteria that signify the completion of the Accountability growth and transformational process, more regular progress reviews, and clear milestones. It also helps that we are increasing our documentation of the Candidate's progress.

Fall Equinox and Winter Solstice 2023

Challenges of Crafting a Public Statement: Although the accountability team agrees about the importance of a public statement, not everyone in the process holds the same approach. Due to the complex and sensitive nature of this letter, here are some of the challenges that we are currently facing: Agreeing on the definition of harm and/or what constitutes misconduct, fear of public backlash, protecting the privacy of those involved, integrity around wording to make sure that what is expressed is a genuine reflection of how the candidate feels. This sensitive task requires time and cannot be rushed. A comprehensive statement demonstrates understanding, remorse, and a plan for corrective action. Navigating all these considerations requires time and reflection from experienced advisors to be congruent. Ultimately, the purpose of the statement is to transparently demonstrate genuine ownership and request public input to rebuild trust and promote collective learning.
Revising Timeframe Expectations: Reflecting on the nature of this process, as well as feedback from various professionals in the field, we have come to understand that our previous timeframe of 3 months to 2 years was ambitious. We are adjusting to offer more realistic expectations. The new timeframe is between 6 months to 3 years, with no guarantees of successful completion and return to work with ISTA. This is especially important information for volunteer support triads so they can pace themselves and not burn out.
Strengthening Communication Channels: Communication at every level is crucial and we see the need to increase dialogue with the candidates, the support triads, and especially within the core of ISTA. Penny is taking the initiative to share monthly updates, including minutes following each of our team meetings. We are also requesting all involved parties share meeting minutes so that the accountability team gains deeper insights into each individual's process. We aim to keep a more consistent pulse on everyone's progress, contributing to a more cohesive and responsive system.
Whole System Integration: One overarching challenge has been how to extend the profound insights and learning that occurs for the candidates with their support triads, across the entire ISTA community. While we are in the early stages of setting up a series of video training for faculty, organizers, and apprentices, we have yet to fully incorporate these invaluable lessons on a broad scale. In order to effect a cultural shift within ISTA these conversations must not be merely a reactive response to an isolated incident. Change necessitates ongoing, continuous dialogue on the topics of conflict resolution, multiple-role crises, trauma, inclusion, privilege, and power. We aim to make accountability skills a shared value and fluent language within our community.

Summer Solstice 2023

Establishing standardized protocols for support triads is a complex task since support triads need training and experience and each candidate is in a different stage of their journey and it requires coordination and consensus between teams.
Coordinating calendars: Team members in different time zones can lead to scheduling conflicts and delays.
Compassion fatigue is a very real form of emotional exhaustion, burnout, and stress experienced by caregivers or those in support roles who become overwhelmed by the emotional demands of those suffering or in distress.
Communication among team members or departments can be delicate because of the need to manage the privacy of the aggrieved as well as the accountability candidate. Because of the novelty of the process, we recognize a need for more system-wide education and communication to avoid misunderstandings and misinterpretations.
Initially, people within ISTA resisted accountability initiatives, viewing them as punitive or scapegoating.
Striking a balance between internal and external feedback poses an ongoing challenge, as both are valuable but may have varying perspectives and priorities.
Setting clear and measurable goals can be challenging because of the nuanced nature of this work, which makes it difficult to track progress effectively.
Managing differing perspectives on readiness for faculty return. Support triads, accountability team, and council all have different opinions and standards on when someone is ready to return to the faculty and we are working towards creating clear criteria and a decision-making process.
One of the downsides of contracting third-party consultants has been the scalability and cost-effectiveness of their hourly rate throughout such a long-term process.
Resource constraints include limited time, budget, and personnel. Many generous hours of volunteer time have been offered by ISTA’s facilitators to offset the high cost of hiring outside consultants.
Building a culture of accountability within ISTA requires a significant shift in values and behaviors, which will take some time to achieve.

Feedback & Suggestions

Inside our unwavering commitment to feedback and evolution, we are actively seeking input from various perspectives including the Accountability Team, third-party consultants, and the sacred sexuality community at large. By involving various voices, we foster a sense of collective responsibility. We know it is not possible to please everyone, and it’s likely we may not be able to and/or willing to act on all the feedback, but we are listening. This list helps us identify and prioritize areas for future growth which will ensure that our process remains relevant in a constantly evolving culture.

Note that some of the feedback and suggestions we have received, while it may be relevant to community accountability work, is not within the current scope of our Accountability Process. Therefore, we have sent such feedback to the other ISTA streams and focus groups that more squarely address those topics.

Autumn Equinox 2024

All of the Candidate’s leadership roles and influences within ISTA should be on pause, not just their role as a teacher/facilitator. The critique we received is that a Candidate should be “paused” on all their leadership roles and influences, not only paused in their role as a teacher, while they’re actively in an accountability process. We recently held a Core gathering, to which we decided to invite the current accountability candidates. Those who were able to, came. This decision to invite the Candidates was intentional. Rather than to augment cancel culture, we wish to invest in the Candidate’s transformation and inner growth; as they go through this process, we welcome their voice to share their experience as a learning opportunity for the rest of the Core community; we intend to maintain a level of community support while understanding it is a form of emotional support which each Candidate needs as they claw their way through portions that feel like a dark night of the soul. The reasons for having our Candidates with us at Core are similar to the reasoning behind “calling someone in” rather than calling them out. This accountability process promotes growth and healing and repair of harm done so that we evolve and grow together as a community. While it’s reasonable to want a Candidate’s other leadership influences to be paused while they are undergoing accountability work, we feel that calling them out and essentially canceling them by preventing them from participating in community gatherings (with no exposure to the general public) seem like forms of punishment which we’re not prescribing to; rather, we wish for their voices to be heard so we can learn from their experiences and we wish to support them as they need us.
Council’s Decision-Making Power should be Clear and Limited. We have received criticism that Council’s decision-making power should be clearly defined and limited in certain decisions within the Accountability Process, for example, when it comes to deciding who (meaning which ISTA leader) is invited as a Candidate into ISTA’s Accountability Process in the future. ISTA hired an external professional facilitator who specializes in organizational governance to work with the Core community to discuss which models of decision-making authority and information sharing would best support ISTA to embody a Culture of Accountability. Council specifically initiated a conversation around limiting Council's power in selecting accountability candidates. The Accountability Team and Council are working together to define the scope of each group in relation to decisions like: inviting an accountability candidate into the process, re-integrating a candidate, changing the accountability process structure, etc.
Eugene should share more about his Accountability Process. We have received skeptical inquiries about whether Eugene is still engaged in accountability work because he hasn’t posted anything publicly in several months. The answer is, yes, Eugene continues to progress through his accountability process with commitment and engagement. He has participated in several mediation processes to repair harm where those harmed requested a repair process with him; he is in communication with his Support Team and the Accountability Stream, sharing both challenges and breakthroughs he is experiencing in therapy and additional growth work he’s been doing. More specifically, Eugene is currently working on editing his public statement. He wrote a draft of his public accountability statement and is currently working on edits after he received feedback and support on his first draft from Anaisa Seneda, from Safe Mediation, and Kamela Love, from Transform Into Love.

Spring Equinox 2024

Facilitator/Doula in Support Teams. One Candidate emphasized the need for a dedicated person, a Facilitator or Doola, in each Support Team to take a proactive role in organizing, coordinating, and improving communication and documentation within the group. This role aims to enhance the overall effectiveness and collaboration within Support Teams and with the Accountability Team. (This has been proposed in the Hybrid Model and has yet to be implemented.)
Collective/Systemic Accountability: We are in a process of considering our collective/systemic responsibility and accountability as a way to better understand what happened in the case of each Candidate. An examination and consideration could be made of the systems of power and responsibility that Candidates were a part of and influenced by in order to better understand how these played a part in the Candidate's behavior and to better understand the steps that can be taken to improve the system rather than ask the candidate to take responsibility for a whole system in which they are operating.

Fall Equinox and Winter Solstice 2023

Unrealistic Timeframe: We heard repeated concerns that the length of the process was too ambitious or unrealistic for genuine transformation. There were also questions about the outcome after the 2 years ran out. Several informed experts suggested a need for a long-term commitment, suggesting that deeply ingrained behavioral patterns might require two to four years of consistent therapy with experienced professionals to attain.
Questioning Qualifications: We received skepticism about the efficacy of this format in the case of someone who may have a personality disorder.
Need for Training: Doubts about the use of untrained support pods, suggesting their presence might reinforce the current cultural blind spots and inadvertently impede genuine change.

Summer Solstice 2023

More Community Engagement: It has been suggested that we actively involve the wider community in forums, rituals or symposiums to practice a restorative justice circle element process to promote healing and prevent further harm.
Lack of systemwide understanding of the restorative justice system, since the culture is oriented in punitive and criminal justice, people need proper training in the underlying philosophy and aims of this paradigm.
Inconsistent Implementation: Concerns have arisen about the inconsistent application of restorative justice principles, leading to disparities in outcomes for different cases.
Need for a clear code of ethics: Some feel that the lack of agreed-upon protocols or conduct makes it challenging to address the nuances of how to handle each case and find congruent resolution.
There is much feedback highlighting the need for trauma-informed training and resources for all facilitators, organizers, and assistants.
One paper published a critique that says: “It should also be noted that to the best of our understanding, this “accountability” process does not have the support or participation of a significant percentage of victims.”
Concerns have been raised about the absence of clear metrics, criteria, or evaluation methods to assess when a facilitator is ready to return to their role.
Internal feedback loops: Candidates in the process have expressed a greater need for communication with those in power.

Next Steps

For the sake of our own accountability, we are documenting a record of our future plans which will provide a basis for follow-up and feedback in future bi-seasonal updates. Also, we hope to inspire engagement and momentum both within the ISTA Core and in our wider global community.

Autumn Equinox 2024

Finalize the Pathway for a Candidate to Reintegrate back into a leadership role in ISTA. It’s important to make clear that it is not necessarily the goal to reintegrate a Candidate back into a leadership role. Rather the goal is to support the Candidate to repair harm as much as possible and to learn, grow, and develop into a leader with reliably accountable action, especially when it comes to trauma, power differentials, and other especially important themes. There are innumerable factors that determine whether a Candidate’s accountability process actually yields an alignment between the Candidate and ISTA leaders to “vibrate” a Candidate back towards a leadership position. To be extra clear, such an aligned decision towards reintegration may or may not eventually happen with each of our existing Candidates. Each Candidate’s possibility of reintegration will be analyzed on a case by case basis because there are many variable and unique factors impacting each Candidate’s process. It’s also possible that a decision is made to begin the reintegration phase with any given Candidate and somewhere along the way during the reintegration phase, a decision is made to “vibrate out” (i.e. part ways) rather than to continue the reintegration process. The reintegration phase itself involves a gradual pathway back into a leadership role, emphasizing added feedback and assessment throughout.
Finalize our Accountability Upleveling Kit. We are excited and eager to uplevel our accountability skills as an entire community (meaning all members of our Core) as we build a Culture of Accountability. The Accountability Team is finalizing a list of suggested resources which will be distributed to all of Core under the premise that we are all actively engaged in a journey to improve our accountability practices as leaders of this organism. ISTA is encouraging all of Core to complete the steps that are outlined in the Accountability Upleveling Kit, which include taking educational courses, reading books, and listening to podcasts on accountability, ownership of harm, trauma responses, responsible use of power, etc., as well as inner growth work such as getting professional support to heal one’s own unhealed trauma, improving one’s use of nervous system regulation techniques while addressing others’ complaints, practicing empathetically validating listening, and much more.

Spring Equinox 2024

Further Implementation of the New Hybrid Model: The primary focus this Spring season will be in harmoniously implementing new policy and managing expectations with the three Candidates and the wider community. This will involve more expert involvement from the outside and coordination with multiple departments within ISTA. This involves overseeing ongoing development since the hybrid framework is still a work in progress and the initiatives within this model are being introduced as part of this Spring update.
Accountability Workshops with Mischa: To deepen our commitment to ongoing education, Mischa Byruck will be offering two more webinars on topics highly relevant to community accountability work, Ownership and Amends. This is part of an in-house effort for ongoing education of the faculty and organizers of ISTA. Additionally, we asked him to be a guest speaker, along with Kamela Love, in a 2-hour “Town Hall” meeting to focus on transmitting values and techniques within the frameworks of Community Accountability and Transformative Justice. Going forward, we plan to hire him for additional in-house webinars on topics related to conflict resolution and the art of apology, which will be made available to everyone in the core of ISTA and hosted on the Integration platform for training future faculty and apprentices.
The Creation of ISTA’s Core Values and Code of Conduct: Navigating Diversity and Decentralization within the evolving structure of ISTA presents a unique challenge for developing a cohesive set of Core Values and a Code of Conduct. The organization's members span across diverse cultures and although several drafts have been proposed since our Core Gathering in March 2023 and there have been several rounds of revision, the challenge remains: how to get powerful alignment amongst the diverse Faculty, Organizers and Apprentices of ISTA’s Core. With limited opportunities for face-to-face discussions, the development of a list of Core Values and a Code of Conduct is still in process.

Fall Equinox and Winter Solstice 2023

Town Hall Meeting: We're organizing an open forum specifically dedicated to the topic of accountability. We aim to enroll more community engagement into the vision of system-wide change. We plan to provide a foundational overview of the 5 step process and feature Mischa Byruck & Safe Mediation as guest speakers to introduce big-picture visioning for transformative justice along with practical skills in conflict resolution.
Redefining Resolution: Since our accountability process is still in the beta phase, our candidates have been exceptionally patient and flexible with the evolution of this process. However, they have been asking for clarity regarding what is required in order to be reinstated as an active facilitator for ISTA. We conducted several interviews with 3rd party consultants to discuss how to know when an accountability process has reached maturity, and we keep seeing that it requires a compassionate ability to reflect on past harms and no longer feel defensive or like a victim. We agreed that accountability is a lifelong process that may never completely end. The formal accountability process may conclude, but the candidate must remain open to feedback and may require ongoing professional supervision. We plan to outline more specific milestones and benchmarks for resolution, which will inform and guide everyone involved.
Training for Support Triads: We're working on a specialized training manual and Zoom videos to help the support triads understand the nuances of this process, cautioning against compassion fatigue, projection or transference issues, and providing comprehensive guidelines to facilitate their meetings more effectively.
Forming a Panel of Allies: We are in conversation with leaders in other sex-positive spaces to create an advisory panel comprising diverse community members, including external experts in similar areas. This panel could provide guidance, brainstorming, and oversight to ensure the accountability process aligns with best practices in the field and supports continual evolution.

Recommended Resources

"The Right Use of Power" by Cedar Barstow offers practical guidance for ethical and effective power dynamics in various aspects of life, emphasizing self-awareness, empathy, and responsible decision-making.
"Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good" This book delves into the importance of pleasure as a form of resistance and empowerment, examining how embracing pleasure can contribute to social justice movements.
"We Shouldn't Be Cancelled" by Adrienne Brown explores the complexities of cancel culture, encouraging a thoughtful examination of accountability, redemption, and the power of collective change in our digital age.
"Until We Reckon" by Danielle Sered delves into the transformative potential of restorative justice as a means to address and heal the deep wounds of the criminal justice system in the U.S. "In Praise of Accountability" highlights the essential role of accountability in the process of restorative justice, emphasizing its potential to heal, transform, and reintegrate individuals into society.
"The Power of Vulnerability" by Brené Brown teaches how cultivating shame resilience can lead to greater personal growth, connection with others, and resilience in the face of challenges, offering valuable insights into the importance of authenticity and openness, especially in leadership.
In "Own, Apologize, Repair: Coming Back to Integrity" by Nora Samaran, readers are guided through a transformative journey that emphasizes the significance of taking responsibility, offering genuine apologies, and actively working towards repairing relationships to restore personal and collective integrity.
Accountability Process for Andrew Barnes, Safe Mediation
My Plan for Reintegrating and Rebuilding Trust with my Community, Reid Mihalko, prominent sex educator
Letter to my Communities Charlie Glickman, prominent sex coach and former client

FAQ & Answers

Q: WHO IS THE ACCOUNTABILITY PROCESS FOR?

A: This is not for isolated instances that can be resolved with mediation. When there are multiple complaints or concerns that someone is exhibiting a pattern of behavior that has negative ramifications in the ISTA field, then the core accountability team will review and consider if it is appropriate to initiate an Accountability Process. This can arise amongst peers within ISTA and/or from sources in the wider community.

Q: HOW IS A SUPPORT TRIAD SELECTED?

The Accountability Triad is responsible for vetting volunteers from within ISTA. We are looking for three individuals who are trauma-informed, experienced in the field, are available to assist the accountability candidate in the depths of their journey and do not have a conflict of interests.

If any individual stands to gain personally or financially from the process, they will be disqualified or replaced. This is particularly crucial for those with past or current romantic or sexual relationships with the candidate. All members of the support triad must be self-aware of their feelings, biases, judgments, and potential triggers. Transparency is key, and they should be prepared to step down if they can no longer provide unbiased support. We are also sensitive to the power dynamics within the organization. Lead faculty requires at least one third-party consultant to advise in the process.

The candidate plays a role in this process by reviewing a list of faculty and organizers suggested by the accountability team. They can provide feedback if they believe someone on the list may not have their best interests at heart. However, the final selection is not made by the candidate. The Accountability Candidate may also choose a confidante for emotional support. This person can be a trusted friend, partner, or coach who can attend meetings, listen, and offer support as needed.

Q: CAN ACCOUNTABILITY CANDIDATES STILL FACILITATE OR ORGANIZE WHILE THEY ARE IN THE PROCESS?

All accountability candidates have been paused from their roles and duties with ISTA and asked to devote as much time and energy as possible to continue education and repair.

Q: IS THIS PERFECT?

No. The current accountability system reflects our best, evolving, and messy attempt at developing a rigorous process that can be an example for similar organizations. Our systems will greatly evolve through time, experience, and feedback. If you have reflections on anything that you think would benefit our accountability process, please use our Feedback Form.

Incident Report Form

If you wish to report an incident that ocurred at an ISTA Training or Event, please fill the Incident Report Form

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